White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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