Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
