i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's like iHOP with fire
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
