omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
