Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize