it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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