I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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