so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
