She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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