Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
