his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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