I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
