what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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