Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize