My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
