Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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