I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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