fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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