I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
