I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
