i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
