I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i now understand why vodka
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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