direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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