thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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