did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
