I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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