pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
