Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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