hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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