If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
