Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
please come you make the beer taste better
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
