I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize