what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
