He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
