these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
