I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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