A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
