The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
