i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
