Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
