After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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