so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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