I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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