I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
