omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
