why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
