We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
