So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This house was built for laser tag.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
