I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"