Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.