Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha