Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.