he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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