its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
