I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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