Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
