It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
