shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
