I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
