Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
