I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
