I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hippo gnu deer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
